Emotional Priorities

I’m going to chat briefly about Facebook, so to start things off I’ll just give a rough outline of my own Facebook usage and habits. I generally scroll through my feed most days, but equally some weeks I just won’t be on FB at all; if I’m sitting on the computer for any prolonged period of time, I’m likely to have FB open in the background, and am then probably more likely to post things; and I’m not a particularly prolific poster on my own wall (I’ve posted 4 things this month). I don’t have a Smartphone, so I don’t ‘check-in’ at different locations, and I don’t upload mobile photos. The things I do post on my own wall tend to fall into one of two categories. Either I’ll have had a thought and phrased it in a way that I think is particularly humorous, so I’ll post that; or I’ll have seen a meme* or something which I think is sufficiently funny/interesting/awesome/etc. to appeal or be of interest to a wide range of my FB friends. So when I do post something on my own wall, it’s therefore something I think is likely to be of interest to other people, and while I don’t attach any great importance to responses, I do enjoy getting a wee like or a comment (or lots of them). But more than that, I’m always generally curious to see who responds and I’ll ponder why that particular person would have appreciated that particular post.

I posted a Faceboook status update the other day which fell into the first category: I had a thought, phrased in such a way that I thought was sufficiently funny/interesting/witty to entertain other people. I was right. I got 12 ‘likes’ and comments from a further 2 people. What I had posted was:

I’ve never been able to decide which is more disappointing – going to take a drink of tea, to realise that you’ve already finished the mug; or having thought you’d finished your tea, picking up the mug and realising that you actually hadn’t finished it, and now the rest of it is cold.

The people that ‘liked’ or commented on this post were a combination of people who I would class as ‘frequent likers’ (i.e. people who just seem to like ‘liking’ things on FB and do so at every opportunity) and people who I wouldn’t normally receive ‘likes’ from, and I assume appreciated the post because these were situations they had experienced and could relate to.

So – that was all just a bit of rambling backchat. The real point of this story, is that I was subsequently discussing with boyfriendface** which scenario is more disappointing. One of my friends had commented that the latter scenario was worse, because it made you disappointed in yourself that you hadn’t finished the tea. She’s right – that is the reason why scenario two is upsetting. The reason that scenario one is upsetting though, is because your expectations of having tea are dashed, and I think to me that’s probably worse. I had a dream once where I put a malteser in my mouth, and the next instant I woke up and of course the malteser wasn’t there. It was very bizarre, because one minute I could feel it in my mouth, and the next it was gone; but also, it was just a very sad sad moment when I discovered that in fact I didn’t have chocolate in my mouth. So it’s the same thing – your hope, your expectation, your assumption, your absolute unconditional infinite faith in getting that next mouthful of tea is just dashed in an instant – and that split-second moment of realisation is just soul-destroying. I can’t articulate how upsetting it is. And yes, I’m being facetious, and no, I’m not going to curl up in a ball and cry because my tea being finished is that upsetting…but still – it’s just gutting.

So as I said, I was trying to articulate this to boyfriendface. He laughed at me – clearly not demonstrating true gravitas as befitted the seriousness of these situations – but he understood what I was saying, and that these occurrences are emotionally devastating for me (albeit momentarily). And then he said something along the lines of, “I just don’t know how you’d react in different situations. Half the world might be destroyed in a zombie apocalypse and I can’t tell how you’d deal with that, because I don’t know where that comes on your scale of things – I don’t know if to you that’s actually not as bad as realising you’ve no tea left.” As it happens I have a well thought-out zombie apocalypse contingency plan, which basically consists of hiding behind my friend’s girlfriend (who, armed with a purpose-bought titanium crowbar (strong, but lightweight), actively looks forward to the day where she gets to battle zombies). So, I’m not too worried about zombie apocalypses. But I think he’s right – if the zombies tricked me by promising me tea and then not actually having any… That would be awful.

I realise that this post has actually been about stuff that makes me sad, rather than stuff that makes me happy. So just to let you know, while I’ve been struggling to think of the right words for writing this post, I’ve been staring into space, entranced by the amount of steam rising out of my cuppa. It may be a sign that the air is too cold and we should think about turning the heating on in the flat, but it’s very very pretty.

*Especially for you dad – Google’s definition of the word ‘meme’.
meme: noun.
1. an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, esp. imitation.
2. a humorous or inspirational image, video, piece of text, etc. that is copied (often with slight variations) and spread rapidly by Internet users.
Origin: from Greek ‘mimēma’ ‘that which is imitated’, on the pattern of ‘gene’.

**because I’m fed up writing ‘my boyfriend’, from now on you’ll be referred to as ‘boyfriendface’.

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2 responses to “Emotional Priorities

  1. Well, I have to completely agree that the worse thing of all when your sitting in your favourite seat and all curled up is picking your mug and finding it empty. At least with cold tea your body was subconsciously letting you know that this particular tank was full and the sad feeling disappears quickly whereas an empty mug placed back down only pricks your mind frequently as if to remind you that the comfy seat needs to be left to go and make another cuppa. X

  2. There is no contest. Finding your cup empty when you pick it up expecting that last mouthful is really disappointing. Even if you go and make another cup of tea, it never quite tastes the same – until the next time!!

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