Nobody ever matches the weather

My flatmate is quite the film buff. I’m not. Boyfriendface maintains I’ve seen about 12 films, tops. That’s not really true (in the slightest) and actually I’m happy to watch a far wider variety of styles and genres than he is; but it is fair to say that I haven’t seen many of ‘the Classics’. Realisation that I haven’t seen *insert film here* tends to prompt excessive GASPing from my flatmate (presumably followed by stress-induced amnesia, because I’ll get exactly the same reaction from her the next time *same film* comes up in conversation).

One of these films is It’s a Wonderful Life. After many instances of GASPing and insisting that I HAVE to see this film, flatmate’s tune evolved to I HAVE to see it in the GFT (they show it every Christmas), which then meant that I wasn’t allowed to watch it in any other capacity until I’d seen it in the GFT. Four Christmases of flatmatedom have come and gone without us actually doing this, but tonight is the night! (It had better be worth the hype.)

Following conversation upon boyfriendface leaving for work this afternoon:
him: “Don’t cry at the film.”
me: “Is it sad?”
him: “Em, yeah – but happy sad.”
me: “Happy sad. Had. Sappy!”
him: “Yeah, it’s definitely sappy.”
I now choose to believe that’s the actual derivation of sappy… a description of those who will be emotionally affected by sad/happy events…

Apparently one year flatmate and her boyfriend at the time saw It’s a Wonderful Life in the GFT and when they came out it was snowing. Based on my sources (i.e. looking out of the window) I suspect this is unlikely to be the case tonight. But it’s OK – I’ve had fun with the weather this past week – albeit without leaving the house. Those times I did leave the house involved traipsing about town in torrential rain, and playing rugby in gale force winds and driving sleet – neither of which were particularly pleasant. Anyway, what I’m getting at is that, provided I don’t actually need to do get anything done, I quite like excessive weather. I quite like marvelling at the power of driving wind and rain, and even like being outside and buffeted about in such conditions – providing I’m not trying to do things, and have a warm house, jammies, and a hot meal to come home to. (Just to clarify for those living elsewhere – we’ve had some pretty stormy days in Glasgow recently.)

I am reading several books at the moment, for several reasons. One is Game of Thrones (although, strictly speaking I’m between books because having finished one I don’t want to pick up the next until I’ve completed certain things on my to-do list); another is To the Lighthouse (which was the first thing I picked up in the library when I didn’t have a book on me because Game of Thrones was too big to fit in my bag); another is Jane Eyre (which is kind of on hold because it’s on my bedside table at Andy’s house and there isn’t a lamp in the bedroom since I moved that down to the living room); and the other is collected works by Poe. And I’ve been getting the most out of Poe this week, because I specifically save him for when it’s dark, and the wind howls, battering the rain against the window…and the world is just phantasmagorical.

Top-eleven job titles in the current market

Scrolling the internet looking for job vacancies isn’t much fun. Right? Wrong! Effectively and efficiently searching for available jobs isn’t much fun; but if you allow yourself be distracted by the wonderful world of bizarre and potentially misleading job-titles, it becomes a lot more entertaining. Here are my top-eleven favourites so far:

11. Volunteer Swan Management Project Assistant: This just sounds great fun – and very necessary. Swans are contrary creatures needing firm management.

10.Lean Master Black Belt: Because you don’t get overweight black belts – especially not if they’re master black belts. Google would have me believe that this job is nothing to do with karate, but is actually related to qualifications in a system for process improvement in business strategy. Pfft to that, I say.

9. Scrum Master: Similarly misleading, ‘Scrum Master’ is nothing to do with rugby, but something to do with software development. Obviously if you were a Scrum Master you wouldn’t tell people that.

8. Horticulture Tutor: Purely because horticulture is a fun word. Horticulture. 😀

7. Master Composter: Not to be confused with a Master Composer.

6. Web Wizard: Because you’d be a wizard! Contractually! Officially!

5. Stick Welder: This job involves welding (sounds dangerous, but fun) and sticks. Sticks! The child in me approves of this job. Especially if you allow yourself to believe that the ‘welder’ part is a typo, and the vacancy is actually for a Stick Wielder. Responsible to Stick Brandisher. What a promotion that would be.

4. Estimator: I like the idea of being an estimator – it seems like you could get away with being very vague, all the time.

3. Agile Project Manager: Until now I wasn’t aware that there was a market for project managers cum gymnasts…

2. Ocean Controller: You control the Ocean!!!!! It’s probably just as well I’m not qualified for that position – that kind of power would definitely go to my head.

1. Marketing Monster: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! BUY STUFF! Presumably that’s the only sales pitch you’d need.